Understand Task Response for band 7 in detailed analysis of sample answer. Discuss both the views. Removing green areas, best option, for residential buildings to reduce commuting time

 Recent IELTS real Exam Question:  29th October 2022, Writing Task 2, Morning Slot, India

Dear students, 

Herein, I am going to start a short series from my Writing Task-2 course. In the following blogs, I am going to train you "How to Write Band 7+ essay in IELTS".  

Task Response weighs 25% of your total writing score 

Hope you are aware that the main criteria for writing task-2 are: Task Response, Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy and Cohesion and Coherence. 

Keep following me here to understand each criteria (TR, CC, LR, GRA) with more clarity and learn to write fail-proof band 7+ essay, in next few posts. In today's blog I will teach you how to get good TR in your Writing Task-2.

Let's understand what examiners are expecting you to write to offer you band 7+ in Task Response.

The 3 major points of band 7+ in TR say...

" ▪ addresses all parts of the task ▪ presents a clear position throughout the response ▪ presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus" (Ref. The official public version of evaluation criteria for writing. You can get the full version here -https://www.ielts.org/-/media/pdfs/writing-band-descriptors-task-2.ashx)  

Sample Question. Some people believe that the best way to reduce commuting time is to replace parks and gardens near the city center with commuter apartment buildings, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. 

Addressing all the parts of the question means - You must write and include all the information asked in the question. To do this, understand the question well and decide how many parts are there in the question and how can you address them all? 

In this question there are 3 parts. 

I) Replace gardens with accommodations is the BEST WAY to reduce commuting time

II) Replacing gardens with accommodation is NOT the right way to reduce commuting time

III) Give your own position.

Important tip to be fail-proof in actual exam. Before you start writing, as soon as you read the title, ask yourself three questioned mentioned above and make a list of the required tasks around the question. After completing your brainstorm - compare your ideas and cross verify whether you have thought ideas on the required each tasks or not. That's all for the first part...after writing just check whether you have extended the ideas well. To get beyond 7 you need to make sure that you are not overgeneralizing anywhere." I am going to present my sample response and that will explain you how I have followed these three important criteria in this response.

Now you brainstorm your own ideas in 15 minutes and come back. Read my sample answer now and compare your ideas with mine. Read my comments at the end of the essay to check how my response fulfills the criteria and how you should continue your writing to do the same. 

Q. Some people believe that the best way to reduce commuting time is to replace parks and gardens near the city center with commuter apartment buildings, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

One of the major objectives to use vehicles is to save time, but unfortunately traffic congestions have almost killed this purpose by wasting more time of the commuters. However, it is suggested that the green areas of city centers should be replaced by housings for the commuters, I, however, do not agree with this as I feel such a municipal decision will be negative for both the people and the environment. (71 words)  

(The TR for introduction is to include topical sentence, the overview of question and the outline of essay - my introduction does these all. Its first line is general opening, the second line includes both the sides of the question and the opinion too. - Make sure your introduction MUST do this to score 7+) 

On the one hand, those who support cutting down of trees for the sake of saving time, claim that such a decision will require less time for the commuters as they will get their houses near by their workplaces. For instance, nowadays many cities have lot of green areas near by the commercial buildings, removing these greeneries will easily make room for accommodating the working people, which seems logically and practically a workable solution to the problem of traffic congestion. Moreover, when people travel less, they save their time and this will enhance their efficiency and in turn productivity too. So, replacing green lush grounds in residential buildings will help saving time, and improving work-efficiency. (115 words)

On the other hand, though turning vacant areas into residential buildings might seem feasible solution to traveling time, I feel such a step will bring more harm than benefits. As, such a decision will make the living space more congested by buildings and in turn will give birth to more environmental issues. Moreover, such a step will snatch recreational spots from people's routine too. Snatching breathing space, removing recreations and providing polluted environment will finally result into major health issues for the dwellers in longer run, so, such a living style will not attract more people to live there. Hence, such a solution will not be a workable measure towards the main issue. (113 words)

Finally, although replacing green open spaces with residential buildings will help in reducing travelling time, not only will this cause major environmental and health issues, but this will also not be able to attract people to live there due to lack of recreational facilities. Hence, on balance, I clearly disagree that clearing out of green vacant areas or parks from the middle of cities is the best decision to lessen travelling time.  (72 words) 

Let's examine this essay, on our TR criteria.

1. Addresses all the parts of the question. Does this essay do this? YES. It address the first part - removing green areas will be a possible option.

My body paragraph-1 discuss about this argument. (Did you notice the language to reflect that this is not my opinion but the other side of the argument? - We call it distancing language and this is crucial to show-case your grammar range and academic skills in writing- ping me here, to know more about this. - Please help me understand the Importance of Distancing Language in both side views essay for scoring more than 6/7 in IELTS Essay.

2. Presents a clear position throughout the argument. My essay clearly supports one side only- that's I disagree. (Observe and learn How I have done this in body passage 1 - wherein I have used other side argument, still I have maintained distance from agreeing that view. In the second body passage- I reflected and supported my view. If still confused and need to discuss, ping me here. ...I want to know more about Distancing language in "Discuss both sides- Essay" in IELTS

3. presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus. To do this I have thoroughly stated my opinion. Did you notice my introduction clearly give my position, my body passage-1 discusses the other side of argument but still has maintained a distance, my body passage -2 has strengthened my own view and finally, my conclusion clearly states my position. In this essay, I have not overgeneralized anywhere by using some hedging language. So, the same essay can get even more than 7 or 8 in TR. My next blogs will discuss about the important elements of distancing language and hedging. to get in touch to learn it at your own time and speed, drop me your queries here...I want to know more about writing elements for band 7.

To get the checklist for band 7 or higher and cross verify your TR in final exam, just drop me hi and ask for band 7+ TR Check list PDF. https://wa.me/8264829179
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